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my big girl!

Yesterday Isabella turned 3 months old!!

One downside to having a baby is that I never get to hang out with my friends.
It's cool though, because I do get to spend every moment with a person who thinks I am the absolute coolest.

I find that logging onto live journal makes me remember the past, even if I don't read back. It makes me wish for the same things I used to wish for. I have my #1 all time wish, which is Isabella, and I am grateful and content. However, I still wish for something unmentionable. The difference is that now I won't pursue the something. I don't want to rock the boat, now that I'm not the only one in it.

My parents leave for a Florida vacation tomorrow and I will have to be home alone tomorrow, unless I can convince Billy to stay over here. I'm not too worried about it, because I can be quite persuasive. (persuasive=needy and bitchy)

aligator lizards in the air

last night i watched "I am legend" and when the fresh prince had to strangle his dog i started crying. i'm finding it hard to stop. it's not that i'm still sweating the dog thing. aparantly i'm back to my normal moodswingy self. bummer. i have to put on my best happy face because when i'm sad it makes isabella sad too. when i'm depressed the last thing i need is to see my daughter's eyes brimming over with tears.
but we'll see how that goes.


my depression and my bipolar disorder are under control. two pills in the morning and one at night.

i have a job at the vocational solutions thrift store on spartanburg highway and i love it! i get to talk to cool people and buy nifty things before anyone else gets to see them.

i have gained 10 pounds, and even though i want to lose it i think i feel better about myself now than i ever have before.

i have a wonderful boyfriend and my family is, for the most part, doing well.

so, life is good.

in case you were wondering...

i'm working a lot because i'm assistant manager, but it's fine because i enjoy what i do.
i'm going to be taking a class or two this semester, because i want a better job eventually.
most importantly, i'm healthy and happy.

i quit myspace.

wow. i'm a sad thing.

i want to move to oregon with you if you're still cool with that. call me some evening on my cell phone so i can ask you a few questions.

just so you know...

i'm cancelling my internet this week, so there will be very few posts.

a few words for me tiff

hands as small and soft as mine
casually ours intertwine
her mouth was fucking filthy
her smile beautifully wide

costume clothes and glitter gloss
fists and combat boots
she spun her way out of my life
she left me cold and mute

she says i have a pure soul light
steady, white and true
but she's the prism it takes to give
my plain white light a hue